This is an interesting way of starting off my blogging history… A blog about being hidden?
One of the hardest things to cope with in my singleness so far is being hidden.
What do I mean by hidden?
Simple, not visible.
I don’t know about other women, but it has always made me feel good, beautiful, even desired when I would get hit on by random guys. Whether they were attractive to me or not. Ballin’ or the lack thereof. Just getting a male’s attention was invigorating! It could have only been the lust in his eyes watching my butt as I walked through the store, but I LOVED it!
I felt wanted!
Even after breaking up, when my ex would tell me I was beautiful, how attracted he was to me and how he would “do this, that and the other” if he was in my presence, I was in pure bliss.
Then it all stops!
You don’t even get a glance from the skater boy as you walk in the grocery store. The guy with the sagging pants doesn’t yell at you “Hey momma! How you?!” NOTHING! Why is this happening? Have I lost my sex appeal? Is light-skinned no longer in and I didn’t get the memo?! I must be clearly missing something. The curves that were once irresistible are still there, more defined than once before, but that makes them better right?!
None of that is the case.
That attention you once had was lust, but you’re worth more than that. Those men boys only wanted you sexually (maybe because of your tight revealing clothes, or that your bra/ panties were visible through your clothing), but you’re better than that.
You dress with MODESTY. You walk with your head HIGH. You have a GODLY aura surrounding you. And those random boys that yelled at you from across the parking lot before see that, and know you wouldn’t stoop to their level of immaturity so they keep quiet when you pass.
The Lord is hiding you. You’re HIDDEN!
He’s hiding you from any unnecessary hurt you may not be aware is out there. He is hiding you from any distractions that may get between the relationship that you are developing with Him. He is jealous for you! He wants to comfort you, heal you, repair you, and rebuild you to be the best disciple for His kingdom.
You’ve cried out to Him, that you desire to love Him more than anything. So He is helping you.
Too many times we “relationship-hop” out of one and jump right into another. That’s unhealthy for so many reasons, we haven’t healed from the past hurt regardless of being the breaker or the breakee – breakups are not fun! He is making sure you don’t have any opportunities to jump into another lake with a hole still in your boat…
For us women, He wants you to feel beautiful because you are His daughter. You’re ROYALTY! Not because some saggy-pants wearing, no job having male thinks your body resembles that of a porn star, or some sex toy. He wants you to not validate yourself by a male’s reaction to the way you walk, but validate yourself by the blood that was shed for you!
There’s no need to feel unwanted, unattractive, unloved – simply because you’re not in a relationship (and it seems like EVERYONE around you is). Instead, enjoy this season in your life. Love God for who He is, not just because you want something from Him. There comes a time when you have to ask yourself “Do I love the Lord because I am expecting Him to bless me in a certain way, or do I love Him for what He has already done?”
You’re not missing anything worth having, otherwise you would have it…
“For the Lord God is a sun and shield;
The Lord will give grace and glory;
No good thing will He withhold
From those who walk uprightly.
O Lord of hosts,
Blessed is the man who trusts in You!”
Psalms 84:11-12 NKJV