My babies, Nikaeyla and Nariyah at 10 or 11 months.
I saw an interesting question regarding new mothers taking their children out of the house, before they’ve gotten their immunizations. The first comment said those mothers lack common sense. Another response praised the person asking the question for being wise. Lastly, a response alluded to the mothers who do take their children out lack “home training”.
I was appalled… to say the least.
Because I am a single mother. I have been since I was 3 months pregnant.
Why was I appalled?
Because although I lived with my mother and brother at the time, my mother worked and my brother was in school. Besides, my daughters are NOT my mother’s or my brother’s children, they’re MINE. So that makes them my responsibility. If they needed diapers or any other baby essentials I had to leave the house with them, if no one else was available. Rain or shine, hot or cold. They went where I went.
Now of course, I don’t know the person’s intention when asking the question, but I like to learn, so I am making a learning experience out of this.
So why is this titled, How to Ask a Question?
Having been in difficult situations, I understand what a lot of people go through. Not having enough money to pay rent, not having gas to get to work/ school/ day care/ church. Eating noodles several days throughout the week to stretch the few dollars you have until payday. Barely making enough to live, yet making too much to qualify for any type of assistance. Choosing what to pay late in order to pay something on time. Yes, I have been in ALL of those situations since my daughters have been born.
What do I appreciate about those times in my life?
They’ve taught me to love others. Not to think too much of myself. And not to look down on anyone, because I’ve been there AND could possibly be there again. I also learned how much people need a helping hand.
So when we come across people in those situations, instead of questioning why they are doing something that we wouldn’t dare do, why not ask if you can help?
Would you like me to run to the store for you?
Hey, I know you have a newborn, do you need anything from the store while I’m there?
Do you mind if I pray with you?
Do you need a babysitter?
Do you need help cleaning up around the house, keeping the kids entertained so you can take a nap, do you just need “a moment”?
Those are the type of questions we should be asking our neighbor (doesn’t have to literally be next door), but those around us who look like they could use a helping hand.
My daughters were maybe two or three months old and I needed to go grocery shopping. So I went.
I was brave.
I had one baby in the carrier on my chest, the other in the carseat in the basket. They were fed, changed, clean, EVERYTHING!
As I’m checking out (one of the bag-your-own-grocery type of stores) one of the babies starts crying. Now I’m trying to bag groceries with one crying baby. Then the other starts crying and I am trying to bag groceries with TWO crying babies.
These two women, I have no idea who they were, came and started bagging my groceries and trying to console one of the babies. My heart was warmed. They didn’t know who I was, but they saw I was in need. They didn’t ask me why I tried to conquer grocery shopping with two infants, they JUST HELPED!
We need to be like that, with everyone. Don’t judge, don’t ask why they’re in the situation, JUST HELP!
After all, we are striving to be Christ-like, He just helped. He tells us in Matthew 25:31-40 (NKJV)
“When the Son of Man comes in His glory, and all the holy angels with Him,
then He will sit on the throne of His glory.
32 All the nations will be gathered before Him, and He will separate them
one from another, as a shepherd divides his sheep from the goats.
33 And He will set the sheep on His right hand, but the goats on the left.
34 Then the King will say to those on His right hand, ‘Come, you blessed
of My Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of
35 for I was hungry and you gave Me food; I was thirsty and you gave Me
drink; I was a stranger and you took Me in;
36 I was naked and you clothed Me; I was sick and you visited Me; I was
in prison and you came to Me.’
37 Then the righteous will answer Him, saying, ‘Lord, when did we see You
hungry and feed You, or thirsty and give You drink?
38 When did we see You a stranger and take You in, or naked and clothe You?
39 Or when did we see You sick, or in prison, and come to you?’
40 And the King will answer and say to them, ‘Assuredly, I say to you, inasmuch
as you did it to one of the least of these My brethren, you did it to Me.’
That was a little long, but I think it proves the point I am making. Before you question “Why?” ask “How can I help?”