Breaking Your Own Spirit

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How many times have you heard:”Don’t break their spirit”?

Referring to a child, or anyone for that matter. Usually because they’re not doing something “right” or by “normal” standards…

Did you know you can break your own spirit?

Well you can.
In my experience, breaking your own spirit hurts more than someone else breaking your spirit. You’ll continue trying to justify why you should put up with lowering your standards and morals. Versus someone else breaking your spirit, you can disregard what they say.

Let’s just say over the last year I have done a lot of breaking my own spirit. Settling for significantly less than I deserve in several areas of my life.

You may ask, but how did you break your own spirit?

One way was engaging in relationships that didn’t build me up. Friendships, dating, things like that. Holding onto people that don’t deserve to be in my life because I felt I needed them, or they needed me, so I thought.

I’ve learned that people who are needy will prey on those who need to be needed to satisfy their selfish desires. While those who need to be needed will prey on those who are needy to fulfill their selfish desires.

Did that person say they needed you? Or did you assume because they lack something you have, they needed you to teach them that quality? Did they actually ASK for your help, or are you handing out your help because you want to feel important, or like you saved them from themselves?

These are questions I’ve been asking myself lately since I fall into the “need to be needed” category.

There have been several times where I was not asked for help, but I will ask if help is needed anywhere or I’ll just step in if I saw lack. I’m wasn’t being led by God, no shove from the Holy Spirit, it was just me.

This eventually led to self destruction.
I never gave myself an opportunity to rest, causing a horrible snowball effect.Not having a chance to rest affected my ability to be available to my children, as well as my overall enjoyment of life. Everything became a chore. It wasn’t a matter of me having hobbies and taking time out to do things that made me happy, but everything felt like it HAD to be done! My selfish desire of needing to be needed took over my life.

Generally I love to cook. I would find joy in it. That too became a chore that I didn’t want to do.

So I didn’t.

That resulted in us eating out frequently, gaining weight and overall feeling the affects of not properly nourishing our bodies.

I wasn’t properly resting.

I stopped praying.

My kids were getting on my nerves every second of the day.

I didn’t find joy in anything!

My spirit was broken… by ME!

God wasn’t leading me to do ANY of the things I was doing, I just did them because I felt I needed to do them.

I had to check myself…

I said “You used to love this! The activity hasn’t changed, so you must’ve changed. What is wrong?!?”

What was wrong was my lack of contentment.

I want things that it’s not God’s timing for me to have…

*clears throat* my own home, a husband…

That translated into doing SEVERAL things that should bring joy, but didn’t because I wasn’t doing them for the right reasons.

As soon as I stopped being satisfied with what I have been blessed with was the moment everything began to fall apart. Not overnight, but very gradually.

When I was previously able to keep things together, it was because I was content in where I was in my life! Content in my blessing, and content in the things I lack because I knew God was aware of the desires of my heart, and He wouldn’t withhold those things from me if I was righteous (Psalms 84:11.)

But thank God for revelation…

“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Matthew‬ ‭6‬:‭33-34‬ NKJV

The moment I started examining the “happiness” of others, over the will of God for my life, is when selfishness and discontentment settled in and I broke my own spirit.

Be Kingdom minded and enjoy the season YOU are in…

Don’t break your own spirit.

Be encouraged.

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