Interestingly enough I have a fear of being alone. Those closest to me may not have ever heard me say that, but I’m sure they can think back to instances where that fear was apparent although unspoken.
The fear of being alone has lead to unhealthy relationships, unaccomplished goals, and a lot of emotional pain.
In the attempt to keep people around me, some times I wouldn’t be my authentic self. I’d change who I was, or I’d do what was necessary to appease those that were easily offended as to keep them around. I would go above and beyond for them, attempting to prove myself as the worthy friend or girlfriend they should hold on to.
But the reality is, everybody doesn’t share my fear. They aren’t worried about being alone, so they are not going to go to the lengths that I would in order to keep me around. They weren’t afraid of losing me like I was them. Same goes for dating relationships. They were not concerned about me leaving them. I was the one concerned about them leaving me, no matter how bad the relationship was.
Needless to say I’ve struggled, and recently has been no exception.
I was reminded of the story of Job this morning.
As afflicted as this man was, He never cursed God and he kept his faith! Even when his wife told him to just curse God and die (Job 2:9).
He lost EVERYTHING! His wealth. All ten of his children at once. EVERYTHING! And although his wife was there physically, she wasn’t there in the way he needed at that moment.
Through it all, Job rejoiced while in mourning, “…Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart…” Job 1:21 NIV
Now let’s look at this, naked doesn’t just mean with no clothing, but alone. Even my twins were born separately 😳…
In his time of intense suffering, Job didn’t reach out to his friends crying and looking for help, advice or comfort. He didn’t call his pastor, the elders of the church, or the prayer line.
He praised God!!
He kept his faith.
“…The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away; may the name of the Lord be praised.” Job 1:21 NIV
Our desire should be to be like Job. Full of faith in all circumstances believing that “…all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.” Romans 8:28 NIV. Even if that means being alone for a while.
We (and by we, I’m talking to myself too) need to stop filling voids in life with people, and allow God to fill those voids the right way. We need to trust Him, because He loves us and knows exactly what we need (see Psalm 139:1-18.)
We need to understand that everyone is not meant to travel our whole life journey with us. We will have to let some people go in order to fulfill our purpose in life (and did God even say we were supposed to be friends in the first place?)
As alone as Job must have felt in this situation, he still had a desire to praise God in his afflictions. Simply, he knew where his help came from (Psalm 121:1-2).
When you’re feeling alone, be cautious when running to your friends for comfort, understanding or a shoulder to cry on. They are human. Eventually, they will let you down. And oftentimes it’s when you feel you need them the most. Run to God. Humbly crawl to Him like the woman with the issue of blood (see Mark 5:25-34.)
He will be your comfort. He will give you understanding. He will be the most comfortable set of arms to rest in as you cry to Him. And most importantly, He will direct you down the RIGHT path to help you get through your situation.
The Bible also tells us in 1 John 4:18, that perfect love casts out fear! We cannot feel that perfect love that only God can give to us if our relationship with Him isn’t solid.
Just like relationships in the natural, they take time and dedication. Are you dedicated to strengthening your relationship with God in order to cast out your fears?